From Your Child: What I Wanted You To Know ...

Trigger Warning: Discusses self-harm and suicidal thoughts and feelings.

What I wanted you to know when I shared that I was feeling suicidal ...

•  This isn't your fault, nothing you've done or haven't done as a parent has caused this.

• Please thank me for talking to someone about my feelings, let me know that it was a brave thing to do and that you're proud of me for reaching out.

• Please ask me how I've been feeling - let me know you're always here if I want to talk and give me the time and space to communicate this in a way that feels comfortable - whether it's verbally, through writing or drawing.

• Please don't tell me off, or be angry at me for feeling this way and sharing how I feel with someone.

• Please just listen - you don't need to fix my problems, all I need is for you to listen and love me.

• Please don't see me or treat me any differently to before I disclosed my feelings - I'm still the same person, you're just now aware that I'm struggling at the moment.

• Please don't take my privacy away from me unnecessarily - I know you're scared, but privacy is really important and removing it will only make me feel worse.

• Please don't be scared or upset, seeing you look worried and sad all the time makes my heartbreak - I never wanted to hurt you - I know it's worrying and it's probably been a bit of a shock, but I'm okay, I'm still here and things will get better with professional support.

• Please know that you and our family are not alone - so many people are going through similar things to this and so many people have already experienced this and got through it.

• Please seek support for yourself if you need to - this is tough and you deserve help for your mental health - you could try counselling, a parent support group or reach out to a helpline.

• Please just love me - all of me, the pretty and the not so pretty - that's the thing that will help not just me, but all of us to get through this. It will get better, this is just a tiny blip in our timeline - we will come out the other side, I promise.

• I love you, so much. I appreciate everything you do for me and how much you care. I know you are trying your best and putting me first and I think that's incredible. You are the best parents I could have - I love you.

With love,

Your child x

It can be really challenging to know what to do when someone you care about discloses that they're having a difficult time to you, and it can be even more challenging to know how to respond if they mention that they have been struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts. It's understandable that these situations are hard to navigate, as topics such as self-harm, suicide and mental health are still not spoken about enough and hold a lot of (unnecessary) stigma. Research released on Time to Talk Day * revealed that a third (34%) of people that were surveyed in the UK stated that they would prefer to not talk about their mental health, rather than risk having an awkward conversation, and another survey ** revealed that 51% of the UK population feels that there is a great deal/fair amount of shame associated with mental health conditions. This stigma and lack of understanding around mental health and how to deal with these tough conversations can be really harmful for people who are having a difficult time, as it can cause them to bottle their feelings up and not seek help. By creating more awareness and understanding of how to effectively navigate these conversations, we can help the people we care about and potentially even save lives.

~ The Loud + Proud Misfit 💛

If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm or suicidal thoughts, support is available.

Papyrus UK (24/7) - https://www.papyrus-uk.org/# - Call: 0800 068 4141, Text: 88247, Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org - For children and young people experiencing suicidal thoughts and for anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.

Samaritans (24/7) - https://www.samaritans.org/ - Call: 116 123, Email: jo@samaritans.org, Write a Letter: Freepost SAMARITANS LETTERS - A helpline open day and night for anyone struggling to cope, who needs someone to listen.

Shout (24/7) - https://giveusashout.org/ - Text 'SHOUT' to: 85258 - Shout is a crisis messaging service for anyone struggling to cope.

Childline (24/7) - https://www.childline.org.uk/ - Call: 0800 1111, Email & Chat: Via website (BSL chat available) - Childline helps anyone under the age of 19 with any issues they're going through.

Disclaimer: Everything I write in my blog is based on my own personal experience, opinions and views. Please seek professional advice where needed.

References:

* https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/news/a-third-of-uk-prefers-to-keep-silent-about-mental-health-rather-than-risk-an-awkward-conversation/

** https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/news/half-of-uk-adults-believe-there-is-still-a-great-deal-of-shame-associated-with-mental-health-conditions/