A Letter to The Undiagnosed Autistic Child Me

To undiagnosed child me...

I know a lot of things probably don't make sense to you right now, like why you feel so different to everyone else, why you feel things so deeply it can sometimes be painful and why things aren't like the books you read and the programmes you watch, but one day it will make sense, when you discover that you're autistic. 

I know how alone and different you must feel and that you so desperately want to feel seen and loved for who you are. I know that this deep longing is why you're trying to fit in, why you're pretending to like things you're not actually that interested in, and why you're hiding parts of yourself from the world - but this stops people from seeing the true you, the wonderful, vibrant, quirky, kind and lovable you. I know how frightening it can be to show the world the real you, but believe me, it's worth it. I know that one day you'll have true friends, who like you for being you, who you can be yourself around and who make you feel good about yourself. Those people are out there, but to find them and let them in, you need to take off the mask and show your true self to others.

You feel things so deeply, which I know can be painful at times, especially when people don't understand, but the fact that you're so sensitive and emotionally connected is such a beautiful gift, and one day you will see how much of a gift it is. One day you'll be able to use this incredible skill to help yourself and others, to learn more about yourself and the world around you - and believe me, that's quite the gift.

You are perfect the way you are. I know the world is constantly trying to tell you you're not, but you are. You are not broken or wrong and don't let anyone ever make you feel as though you are. You are unique and that's a magical thing. You deserve to be valued, loved and respected for who you truly are. You are so brave and beautiful and have so much to offer, just by being you. Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle or try to make you disappear. Stay true to yourself and don't sacrifice who you are for anyone.

With love from

Your future self  x 

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